


Different, But Still Good

by anonknown



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Gen, Kevin Day Needs A Hug, POV Kevin Day, i still cannot tag for shit, if you cannot tell, kevin day is scared of change, stan renee and kevin as friends for clear skin, this isn't a relationship fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:09:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28882221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonknown/pseuds/anonknown
Summary: Kevin hated waking up in the mornings. But the first graduation after their National Championship win was approaching faster than any of the foxes would have liked, so Renee made plans for the team to watch a sunrise together. That means Kevin is up at the asscrack of dawn to sit on the roof with his team, but maybe that’s okay because one of his teammates was there to tell him some things he had really been needing to hear recently.OR: Renee is there for Kevin when she realize he is scared of all the change that is coming.
Relationships: Kevin Day & Renee Walker
Kudos: 3





	Different, But Still Good

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to my tumblr: https://anonknown.tumblr.com/

The alarm Kevin had set on his phone went off at 5:30 in the morning. He groaned, turning over in an attempt to ignore it, but felt a pillow hit his back, thrown from somewhere across the room. Sitting up, he shut the alarm off and rubbed his eyes, thinking back to the night before.

They, and by they he meant the team, had all been sitting in Matt and Aaron’s dorm room, talking about the previous year and everything that was to come. Graduation was soon, and they’d be losing Renee to the real world. Then new foxes, new problems, and new possibilities would join the team and it would be their responsibility to deal with it all. This is what they signed on for when they joined the Palmetto State roster, but knowing that didn’t make it any easier. Things had just started looking up and they were just beginning to get along and function like a real team. Like a real family. Kevin didn’t want it to change. 

That was something that surprised people about Kevin. For such an adaptable player, he wasn’t an adaptable person. Change was never something he handled well, at Palmetto or in the Nest. Before escaping Edgar Allan, steady was the closest thing he knew to safety, and the idea of taking his new sense of pleasant normalcy away wasn’t something he felt he was dealing with very well. It wasn’t that Kevin was particularly close to Renee, to him she was just a well meaning and good person, but a mediocre goalkeeper. Her efforts to keep peace among team members didn’t go unnoticed by him, and he appreciated that about her, but she was more Andrew’s friend than his. And yet, here he was, up at 5:30 so that he could properly wake himself to watch the sunrise with his team, simply because Renee wanted to. 

Kevin had never really seen the point in watching sunrises. In the Nest, he spent most of his life inside, held to a strict schedule that didn’t set aside time for such trivial pursuits of peace or beauty. Then, when he came to be a fox, he had the opportunity to sleep in for once in his life. He liked that. He decided that sleeping in would be his new norm, a quiet way of separating himself from the certain aspects of his past. It was a slow process, but it was his way of healing.

His roommates, Andrew, Neil and Nicky planned to sleep in another 15 minutes, but required Kevin to be up earlier to compensate for his complete inability to wake up in a timely manner. Kevin stood from the bed, pulled a set of clean and comfortable clothes out of his dresser, and walked into the bathroom for a shower. He planned to make it quick, hoping the water and movement would help his alertness. The team had planned to meet in the hallway together at 5:55, and after waiting around in bed for so long, he only had 20 minutes left. Turning off the water, he stepped out and toweled himself dry, dressing in some random T-Shirt he had bought the week after he left the nest and an old pair of sweatpants. Exiting the bathroom, he made his way to his bed and sat down, scrolling through his phone as the others stirred, showered and dressed. 

Within 20 minutes, they were all ready to head out, meeting the upperclassmen in the hallway and climbing the stairs to the roof in silence. Something about the calm atmosphere set Kevin at ease, allowing him to enter a state at peace he had not known in years. Normally, an endeavor such as this one would aggravate him, as it was pointless and unproductive, but he was too tired to worry about such ridiculous things now. He wasn’t at Edgar Allan. He was no longer a tool or instrument for someone else to use. He was more in control of his own life than he had ever been, despite the Yakuza’s eyes still being on him. It was better than being leashed. At least now, he was allowed to be just Kevin, at least sometimes. He was allowed more than just exy, if he came to want it. 

The foxes settled on the roof, whispers disturbing the dark silence that had previously blanketed them. Neil and Andrew were perched on the edge, and Matt and Dan had found themselves a spot closer to the front than himself, beside Renee and Allison. Nicky was sitting with Aaron near the corner of the roof, while Kevin took a spot back from it all, leaning against some kind of machine and looking at everyone, covered in the dark. He couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, nor did he really want to, as it felt like an hour for his friends to hold private conversations. For once, he felt no animosity flying in any direction or held between any two foxes. Looking at their backs as they all waited for sunrise, all Kevin felt surrounding them was peace.

But he knew that they were on the precipice; the precipice of change, for better or for worse. Renee’s leaving made it all feel real. It made him realize that eventually, they would all leave. Palmetto had become a protective bubble for him, and one he desperately needed. In the grand scheme of things, he didn’t have much time left as a fox, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to enter the real world. He sure as hell was ready for any sort of a change now. Kevin was just starting to find his footing. 

He thought about this, reminiscing alone, simultaneously nostalgic and afraid as the sun began to send its first streaks of orange across the luckily clear sky. It was beautiful. Like the others, he continued to observe as pinks and reds and hints of green peeked over the campus’ horizon, struck by its beauty. It occurred to Kevin that he had never actually  _ watched  _ a sunrise before today. He thought he should probably thank Renee later. 

As if reading his mind, and Kevin often felt that this would explain the seemingly supernatural power Renee had when it came to understanding those around her, she stood up from her group of friends and made her way further back from the edge, coming to stand in front of him. 

“Do you mind if I sit?” Kevin shook his head, scooting over a bit to make room for her next to him. She took her place, allowing a moment of silence to pass between them before speaking again. 

“So, what do you think?” She asked in a low voice. Kevin tore his eyes away from the sunrise to look at her. 

“It’s nice. I’ve never actually watched one like this before.” He shifted his eyes to his feet as Renee nodded slowly. 

“I’m glad you like it, watching them has become a habit of mine. They relax me.” Kevin looked back to the horizon. He didn’t want to make her stay there any longer than necessary, as she had seemed to be having fun with the upperclassmen. Kevin didn’t need her pity presence, though he forced himself to appreciate the thought. 

“You don’t have to sit over here and talk to me. I was fine on my own. I don’t need pity. Yours or anyone else's.” Renee’s face was pressed into a look of contemplation when he brought himself to look back at her. She let it go and grinned at him, sweet as she usually was. 

“I know. I’m here because right now, I’d like to talk to you.” Kevin smiled. He believed her. Renee had always been honest with him, even if she tended to be softer about it than anyone else he had ever met.

“Would you like to know why I’ve become fond of sunrises?” Renee prompted, sensing Kevin’s mild awkwardness and exhaustion. He appreciated it, casual conversation didn’t come naturally to him in non-press settings.

“Yes.” He provided a simple answer and she began.

“After getting out of the gang I was in and being taken in, I struggled with change and with stability and with peace.” Kevin tensed. He should have guessed she would read him easily. He had been told by many that no matter how hard he tried, his emotions were fairly easy to discern most of the time. Renee continued, graciously ignoring his mild but growing nervous energy. “I had come from an environment that was dangerous and toxic, but predictable. I knew what to expect. After leaving that to enter this healthy and free environment with my new family, I had trouble. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t ignore the past, and I was having trouble reconciling it with my hopes for the future. I wanted to find something that was steady throughout both parts of my life. I appreciate a good cliche, so I chose the sunrise.” She smiled, and Kevin let out a small chuckle, appreciating the light joke as an attempt to ease some of the conversation’s tension. “Eventually, after a lot of healing and soul searching, I realized that the ‘stability’ I got from my gang when I did as I was told, was not that. It was as I called it earlier, ‘predictability’. They aren’t the same. Stability is something that comes from the love the family around you provides, however they choose to show it, and your passions and pursuits, however you choose to pursue them. Stability is not a predictable yet dangerous routine.” Kevin nodded slowly. He hadn’t thought about it like that. In a way, it did help, but it broke a main concern free in him to hear her say such things. He spoke for the first time aloud that day, and he did so softly.

“But eventually, this family is going to go away. You’ll be the first.” Renee sighed, a bittersweet smile on her face as she looked beyond Kevin and to the other foxes. 

“I know. It’s a bit sad, isn’t it? I spent all this time learning to accept change and finding new things and people to love, and in a few weeks, it’s all over for me. For the rest of the upperclassmen, they’ve only got a year. You and your boys aren’t far behind.” Kevin nodded. He felt as though he’d been doing a lot of that throughout their conversation, but he didn’t trust his voice not to waver now. He wasn’t sure how she thought that what she said would help anything. Acknowledging how little time was left only made him feel worse. “But I’ve enjoyed it here. I’ve had fun.” She continued, interrupting his thoughts. “And I know that the foxes,” she gestured to them, now sitting in a row on the edge of the roof. It made for a nice view. “The foxes aren’t like some other college team or friend group. We’re a family. As real as a family can get.” Kevin laid his head down on Renee’s shoulder as she reached over to run a hand through his hair comfortingly. “Just because we leave fox tower doesn’t mean we leave each other behind. You are a fox. You will always be a fox. Same as us all.” The two of them smiled, looking to their family. The last line had felt familiar. He understood that he would not be alone. That while change was coming, it did not mean loss or pain, not in the way he knew it. It meant a new beginning. It would be okay to miss what once was, but he had to embrace the potential the future held. He had to make something of it. He had heard these things a thousand times before, even recited them to himself. But for the first time, he truly understood what the words meant. 

“Thank you, Renee. The team won’t be the same without you.” She dropped her hand from his head as he sat up. 

“It won’t be the same when any of us leave. But that doesn’t mean it will be bad.” Kevin rose, a faint smile pulling at his lips.

“Yeah. We’ll be good.” He knew was reminding both her and himself. 

“You will. I promise.” Kevin didn’t miss the meaning behind her words.

“I think I am going to go sit with them. You coming?” He asked, now ready to join his family on the ledge. Renee shook her head. 

“I’ll be there in a minute. I just want a second to myself.” 

  
With that, Kevin turned away and walked to the edge of the roof, taking a seat next to Aaron near the corner. He listened for a bit, the others seemed to be talking about, specifically debating, the Hogwarts houses of members of opposing teams. It wasn’t their usual zombie apocalypse related conversations. But that was okay. It was different, but still good. 

`~|-_-|~`

Renee had graduated. All the foxes had attended, cheering her on in support of her accomplishment. Following her graduation was a transition period where no one entered the practice facilities on coaches orders, as he had things he needed to square away for the next season and with the new recruits. He didn’t mention it to his athletes, but he had also thought they could use a break. They had earned it. The team had decided to go to a beach somewhere, and it seemed to Wymack that team vacations with the original 9 would become tradition at this rate. It made him happy to see how they all cared so deeply for one another. 

But eventually, they all had to return to reality. Kevin knew this better than anyone. It was a hell of a lot easier getting to the top than staying there, and if the foxes wanted to continue to be National Championship contenders, they needed to get back to work. 

It was a Monday morning when they all re-entered the foxhole court. New members, however, tagged along with them this time. Kevin had learned a bit of their personalities, but had yet to develop an opinion. He was waiting to see them play before doing that. He looked to the board of pictures on the wall from his place on the couch as Wymack discussed the upcoming season. He continued to remind himself of what Renee had told him that early morning a few weeks back. He remembered the sunrise. He remembered the tranquility. The feeling of being on a precipice, a ledge, of being ready to move forward.  _ It was different, but still good _ , he reminded himself as his eyes fell on a picture he didn’t recognize. It was eight of the foxes. Everyone from the previous year sans Renee. They were all sitting on the roof of the fox tower in a line, talking amongst themselves. The sunrise ahead of them was breathtaking. Something was written below the picture, and Kevin drew closer to read it as the rest of the foxes headed onto the court, dismissed by Wymack. The words below the picture read: “My family.” in Renee’s bunched up handwriting. He pulled the picture from the wall and flipped it over. On it was written, like a secret message to him, “It’s always changing. Every year it will be different. Different, but still good.” Kevin repeated it to himself one more time as he strode onto the court, thinking of how there was never anything that his old teammate failed to think of. When he walked out, he found Neil and the new boy already yelling at each other. Kevin rolled his eyes and chuckled. It was going to be different, that was for sure. Different but still good. 

  
_ Different, but still good. _

**Author's Note:**

> Uh if anyone knows how to fucking indent on AO3, message me on my tumblr or comment please I cannot figure this shit out.


End file.
